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This is the second installment of our “Whispers” series. Last time, we covered a very serious topic. Today, we decided to cover a topic that is a little more spicy. We are not condoning infidelity, nor are we condemning anybody in this situation. However, for the purpose of storytelling, we have decided to bring you a different type of “love story” this Valentine’s Day. The Chocolate Confessions of Secret Lovers.
CONFESSION I (Man 1)
- How did your relationship begin? Our relationship began and finished without much discussion. It sort of just happened. Myself and this married person felt a natural attraction towards each other.
- How did the romance play out? Did you have a special schedule? We did not have a special schedule, we did not have conditions set in place. The only thing we knew was that what we had was only between us. We always knew how to act while in other people’s company. I always made sure I had another woman accompanying me when I knew I was going to come in contact with her and her husband. At times, I wanted her but I would act like she did not exist just to prevent things from escalating. We kept our relationship hush-hush. Sometimes, we would drive far away from everything and everyone for a day. That was the beauty of this relationship. Sometimes I would steal secret glances in her direction while in public just to let her know that I wanted to devour her. Just from a simple look. She would then send me a text message saying, “I can tell that you want me by the way you were looking at me, am I right?” And I always had the same reply: “And you, don’t you want me too?”
- Did you used to celebrate Valentine’s day? No, we never celebrated Valentine’s day. I don’t personally celebrate Valentine’s day.
- Do you ever feel guilty based on your personal beliefs and social norms? No, I do not have any regrets. This society is filled with hypocrites; what they do behind closed doors do not reflect their supposed morals. I do not live my life based on what society dictates.
- Did you believe in the relationship? And do you believe you deserved more? In this life, one cannot have everything. It ended the same way it started without much discussion about what we were to each other, or where the relationship was headed.
CONFESSION II (Man 2)
- How did your relationship begin? Our relationship started with a simple attraction. We spoke on the phone, we met up and that’s how it began.
- How does the romance play out? Do you have a special schedule? Our relationship functions without any complications. From the beginning, I made it clear to her that this was based on lust, and that I was very well aware of her situation. We both respect the rules of the game. We do not have a special schedule, but we always make time for each other. Because her husband works, we are able to meet more often than one can imagine. We see each other everywhere. I have even gone to see her at her house. However, we mostly see each other in secret meeting places; somewhere far where I can act like I’m her man, and we can be as open as we want. Because of her situation, our relationship has to remain hush-hush. Our best friends are aware of the affair, and that is why her best friends and I became good friends; that way, all of us are comfortable around each other.
- Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? We celebrate Valentine’s Day, her birthday, and my birthday. In General, we celebrate in private, in a hotel room. I’ve even thrown her a surprise birthday party where I invited her friends. The funny part is that she usually spends her birthdays with me.
- Do you ever feel guilty based on your personal beliefs and social norms? I do not have any regrets because I understand that we are simply acting on a desire that we both have. Once we are tired of this, we will stop it without any problem. The husband always has his place and I know my place. When I meet her husband, I greet him with all of the respect he deserves, and everything is cool. There is no guilty conscience because this is purely a physical connection. But, as soon as the woman starts catching feelings, it is best to end it than to break up a loving family. So far, there have been no broken homes or broken hearts because of my actions. I have absolutely no regrets! I am a rebel and I don’t live by society’s rules. I simply wanted her to experience something she lost a long time ago. How can you regret that?! At this moment, my conscience is doing just fine.
- Do you believe in this relationship? And do you believe you deserve more? From the beginning I knew what kind of relationship this was because I know she can end it at any moment. I have never asked her for more because I know what I want, and what she wants. We both found what we were looking for, what we deserve, and we are satisfied. I have never asked for more, because I know the rest is for her husband!
CONFESSION III (Woman 1)
- How did your relationship begin? We used to chat often on a very popular social media site. The conversations were so stimulating that we decided to continue our conversations via whatsapp. One night, in December of last year, we decided to be honest with each other. We decided that it would do us some good to not only share our thoughts but to also share intimacy.
- How does the romance play out? We both understand that this is not a real relationship so, we handle it like adults (we are both responsible for our actions). We do not have a special schedule, we see each other when we want to; sometimes at his house, at one of his friend’s house or at a hotel. I don’t know who is aware of our situation on his side, but a couple of my friends know about us.
- Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? We have only been together for a year, so we have not celebrated Valentine’s Day.
- Do you ever feel guilty based on your personal beliefs and social norms? I feel very guilty about our relationship. Not because of what society dictates, but because of my own morals. Sometimes, I wonder how I would react if I were in his wife’s position, and my husband or boyfriend was cheating on me.
- Do you believe in this relationship? And do you believe you deserve more? Our relationship doesn’t have any future because he is not mine. I am just sharing him and this does not sit well with me; which is why I need to end it.
CONFESSION IV (Woman 2)
- How did your relationship begin? This whole thing started one summer when I was on vacation in Haiti, and I was going through a vulnerable period. I was going back and forth with this one guy and it was getting crazy. My home girls kept saying that I need to get over this guy and maybe have a one night stand to get my mind off of him. At the time, I didn’t really believe in those. One day, they had a friend who came over to their house and they opened up the conversation with him saying “why don’t you give her some male advice” her, being me. “Tell her to get over this guy that has been mistreating her.” I ended up telling him the entire story of what happened between me and the guy, and then he told me about all of the issues he was having with his marriage. I’m very friendly and I’m very open, so we quickly became friends. Later on that night he sent my friend a text message saying that he thought I was really cool. We started hanging out and within a week he said that he was in love with me.
- How did the romance play out? Did you have a special schedule? I don’t remember exactly how the sexual part started. It just happened one night, and it continued happening. We didn’t set aside a specific time to meet he would just come over in the mornings and then he would come back in the afternoons, and at night. He was basically coming whenever he was free, which didn’t matter to me because I was free all day. We would meet at my friend’s house because she knew what was going on, she was encouraging it and supporting it. It was a secret from his wife but my friends knew and people who would see us out in the streets together kind of suspected it.
- Did you use to celebrate Valentine’s day? We never had the opportunity to spend Valentine’s Day together because that holiday happened after we had already ended things.
- Do you ever feel guilty based on your personal beliefs and social norms? I never felt guilty about it, not that I think it’s ok. I guess what a lot of people fail to understand is that, it’s not something that you consciously say “Hey I’m going to go after this woman’s husband, and I’m going to pursue him.” It wasn’t like that at all. For one, he went after me and he went hard. Everything he was telling me about his relationship with this wife, whether they were the truth or not, none of it really mattered to me. I was just fulfilling the needs I had in that moment. I didn’t feel all that guilty. And I know it wasn’t right, but to this day I don’t feel bad about it and I don’t care.
- Did you believe in the relationship? And do you believe you deserved more? I believed in the moment, in the happiness of it, and I enjoyed it. But I didn’t necessarily believe this was going to last forever. At the time I wasn’t really thinking about what I deserved, I was pretty young and naïve and vulnerable. So I was just happy to have somebody there to tell me things that I wanted to hear. Now, while I do miss what we had, I do know that I deserve more and I deserve better. At this age I don’t think I could date another married man.
Photo Credit: Tina Cerin